Casting the Hunger Games

Last year I was introduced to the post-apocalyptic world of Suzanne Collins' 'The Hunger Games'. I was so thankful that I wasn't aware of them them before the release of the last book was in sight. I couldn't imagine having to wait any longer for its arrival. It was clear to me from the very beginning that the series was the literary version of crack. I knew it was a matter of time (and probably not much) before they met the silver screen. On the eve of casting, they've announced that Gary Ross will be directing, I wanted to put in my two cents, before he makes his final decisions. Here's how I see it:

Emma Roberts* as Katniss Everdeen

• - Age: 16
• - Home: District 12
• - Gender: Female
• - Strength: Archery, Knives
• - Occupation: Hunter, Scavenger
• - Characteristics: Dark hair often tied up in a braid, olive skin, grey eyes
• - Relatives: Primrose Everdeen, Mrs. Everdeen

If we have to pick a starlet I have no major hang-ups giving Miss Roberts a green light. However, OHMANIWANTANOPENCASTING. My biggest concern here is keeping these kids young enough to make me happy but old enough to keep me interested.

Miles Heizer Peeta Melark

• - Age: 16
• - Home: District 12
• - Gender: Male
• - Strengths: Likability, Self Deprecating Humor, Physical Strength
• - Characteristics: Medium Height, stocky, ash blonde hair falling in waves over forehead, blue eyes.

Sigh, the boy with the bread.....I cast this one in my sleep.. The fact that anyone else could be considered in this role is a travesty. Certainly this kid will have to go all Taylor Lautner for this first part of the franchise. He'll have to throw some pretty large bags of flour around to get ready for the role, but I never said it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it. Clint Eastwood has declared Heizer to be this coming generation's Leonardo DiCaprio. He has both Leo's heart-throb capabilities and the hard-core acting chops for sticking power. Believe me, that's all my sixteen year old self needs to know. I can't think of very many teens who could pull off this role, but I know in my carb-laden tummy that Miles Heizer could probably get anyone accidentally fall in love with him, even a crowd of entertainment hungry District 1 citizens and maybe even Katniss Everdeen.

Michael Trevino* as Gale Hawthorn

• - Age: 18
• - Home: District 12
• - Gender: Male
• - Strength: Hunting, Snares
• - Occupation: Hunter , Miner
• - Looks: Straight black hair, olive skin, gray eyes

As I am as about as un-team Gale as possible, I'm easy and breezy when it comes to casting this hulking and sulking BFF. I'd be thrilled to see an unknown in the roll. There's disgusting buzz begging for Cory Monteith to be cast as Katniss' fake cousin/real love interest. Can you imagine Finn Hudson stealthily setting traps?! Get real internet teens. I can't think of any current heart-throb goofier than Glee's Finn Hudson. Katniss would shoot an arrow though him first and ask questions later. Total redonk fest. As if Gale could ever be considered anything other than steely.

Primrose Everdeen -- Name: Primrose Everdeen, Prim

• - Age: 12
• - Home: District 12
• - Gender: Female
• - Strength: Making Goat Cheese, Medicine
• - Characteristics: Light hair and blue eyes
• - Connection to Katniss: Sister

I beg for an unknown in this role. I can't even pretend that I'm going to be OK with the predictable preteen sister starlets who have their names being bounced around right now.

Elizabeth Shue as Momma Evereen

• - Age: late 30s early 40s
• - Home: District 12
• - Gender: Female
• - Strength: Medicine, Healing
• - Characteristics: Light hair and blue eyes
• - Connection to Katniss: Mother

I had to search high and low and on like the 10th page of Google to find a picture of Elizabeth Shue where she A) Wasn't too smiley or B) Wasn't naked. Way to go, Ms. Shue ;) I'm glad she's still having fun. I would be forever happy to see her go all listless and depressed for the Hunger Games. I think if I were suffering from a near death and very bloody experience, I'd feel as comfortable as possible in her healer home-pathic hands too. Also, this girl has arms that are evident of either 1) a hell of a lot of tennis, pilates and personal training or 2) a life of heavy lifting in a post-appocalyptic world.

Sophia Linkletter as Madge Undersee

• - Age: 16
• - Home: District 12
• - Gender: Female
• - Looks: Blonde Hair, green eyes,
• - Characteristics: Kind, Quiet
• - Connection to Katniss - Friend

Sophia Linkletter is perfectly Madge-esque. You know she totally says the darndest things, and would be great for a war of words with Gale. Her high class opera house connections and top tier singing career will surely help her pull off Madge's poise with flawless mayor's daughter air.

Rip Torn as Haymitch Abernathy

• - Age: 40
• - Home: The Victors Village – District 12
• - Gender: Male
• - Strength: His Wits
• - Occupation: District 12 Mentor
• - Looks: Paunchy, Middle Aged and Brightly Grey Eyed
• - Connection to Katniss: Mentor and Neighbour
• - Characteristics: Drunk, Unfriendly, Harsh, Not Understanding and Surly

Alas, I can not take credit for this stroke of unbridled genius. This particular casting call is all Duchess, and truly inspired. Who else can you picture throwing a bottle of booze at a minor? Who better to have your back when playing dirty counts? Who better to tell it like is? Short answer: No ONE, because believe me, when @#$*! gets real, and you're "done knocking yourself out, sweetheart," you're going to want someone with a bit of fight in him -- and Rip Torn's got this one covered."


Paul Bettany as Cinna

• Name: Cinna
• - Age: - early 30s
• - Home: Capitol
• - Gender: Male
• - Looks: Close cropped brown hair, green eyes, golden eyeliner
• - Occupation: Stylist

Ok, Ok, I know what you're thinking.... and you can stop. Cinna melts Katniss' rock-hard, totally jaded heart, and gives her a unique view of the world. He pulls her out of herself and he makes her beautiful. While she is certainly his muse, he is her true friend, someone she truly admires and respects. In case you weren't paying attention, Katniss' opinions run this way once-upon-a-never. So the man that would be Cinna is kinda a big deal. Who can you imagine being able to do all that, while creating an inspired and visceral art direction experience?

Now close your eyes, and picture the esteemable Mr. Bettany dropping his hand from your cheek. As he turns to go he sighs,

"Don't worry. I channel my emotions into my work. That way I don't hurt anyone but myself."

Seeeeeeee!?! A bottle of hair dye and dose of gilt guy-liner and you have yourself a forerunner ready to mold a fashion plate with teeth. (Seriously, this might be the one call I'm not willing to budge on).

Now, on to the face of evil. As a child this is the face that haunted my dreams - but in that delightful, oh man how is he so scary?! kind of way. I would be thrilled to see
Eugene Robert Glazer terrorize as President Snow

- Age: sixties
- Home: Capitol
- Gender: Male
- Characteristics: Blood red lips, White face, extreme plastic surgery
- Occupation: President

Can you see it? I can.


Taylor Swift as Foxface

• - Name: (Real name is unknown) Foxface
• - Age: Unknown
• - Home: District 5
• - Gender: Female
• - Strength: Sneaky
• - Looks: A fox-like face, Sleek Red Hair
• - Connection to Katniss: fellow tribute in the 74th Games
  
  
  Casting High-five. I thought of Taylor the whole time I read the Hunger Games. I pictured her curly locks tumbling down around her she fell to her unsuspecting death. Fox face!

This is my ideal cast. There are a lot of people not here, and that's beacause they're locked in my imagination and not clearly represented in the entertainment industry...yet. I hope, hope, hope they pick unknowns. I'd love to see a new hot Hollywood ready Fennick. I know I'm going to lose a battle with Rue, so I'm not going to pick a fight about it. I think it's pretty darn important that my friend Jen eventually plays adult Katniss

Right? Right?

I also imagine (along with Duchess) that future Peeta is most certainly Matt Damon, but I think Jen's husband might not be as set on that with us ;)

This was fun.

P.S. Special thanks to http://mockingjay.net/ For stats and general crazy fanatic inspiration

Who do you see playing what? What are your hopes and dreams for this graphic and bloody trilogy? Also, will you come see it with me? I'll probably need a hand to hold when things get real, and they'd better get real, fo' real.