Motivation Monday - Live Under the Sun

Love under the stars...

This month marks my 10 year NYC-a-versary. I've known this day was coming for ages, but it still feels like a 'pinch me' kind of moment.

I'm a Brooklynite now. I think maybe I've always been one, dormant at times, but forever moving towards this place that was always meant to be my home.

I delight in the little moments that are quintessentially Brooklyn.

Lately I feel a push towards the beyond. I wonder at the fact that I've managed to stay put in one place for so very long. That doesn't seem like me at all. Yet here I am. I keep wondering at where I'll be in years to come. I won't lie. Part of me can't ever imagine shopping at one store for everything I need. I think in my snobby NYC way, 'what a waste!' Food is meant to be gathered at the local bakery, the local vegetable store, the specialty cheese shop. Wine from a grocery store seems like a joke. I know that eventually time will pull me from this magical place, but regardless of where I go, or IF I go, I know that Brooklyn, will always be my adopted home.

When I got back from the magical and tropical paradise that was the Bahamas a earlier this month, I actually felt my pulse slow, my body calm and my lungs sigh a deep whisper of relief and peace to be back in my beloved Brooklyn.

Ten years ago I snapped this picture outside of my second story dorm room in Pantas Hall at Pratt Institute. We couldn't find a plane ticket that would get me in New York in time for school unless I went two days before official check in. Without a cell phone and too scared to scamper to Myrtle Avenue for phone cards I'd managed my first really truly all alone night alone. I woke up to find the campus full of newbies. I grabbed my little disposable camera and froze that moment of endless possibility as the sun came barreling up over the Arc.

I look at this photo ten years later, almost to the day, and I marvel at everything that girl was, more complete than I'll ever be again but so infinitely fragile.

That girl had never really been alone, never really been in love, never had the kind of friends that are family, never knew what it is to make hard decisions that will change the course of your life.

I sat on a park bench in Carroll Gardens on Sunday with my buddy Ashley. She highlighted a truth that I've been feeling but not quite able to put into words.

'We're in a place right now, where we can make decisions that alter the course of our life, and we can make them in five minutes flat!'

I remember what that feels like, it feels like being a freshman in college, with a new city sprawling out in front of me, new people and new places, and so much to learn. So maybe I am still as brave, and a little less scared, but mostly I'm just happy to be here.

So while I feel the need for a change... I look back on this decade with wisdom, love, and so much gratitude. Awww...Brooklyn, I'll love you forever.

Who knows what I'll feel when I look back on pictures from this month ten years from now?
I hope they draw a smile.

My motivation this week is being drawn straight up from the ground. For this entire week I push myself - and you, to pay attention to the world around you. Take the time to find little surprises of joy in your day to day. Step off the beaten path and remember your ten years ago self. You deserve that token of reflection. End each evening with a deep sigh of thanks for where you are and where you are going.

I hope it brings you the kind of happiness Brooklyn has brought me, the kind that fills your soul.

Forgetting

Lately I've been feeling kind of caged. I'm happy and things are good, but suddenly sketching for my supper stopped appealing to me. I just wanted to put the pencils down. With the exception of one week in college when I'd been drawing for about 3 weeks straight without sleep, this was a new sensation.

I stopped and wondered, was it coming all along, after a cumulative 20 some years of drawing here and drawing there, was there a wam-bam day coming where I just wasn't going to want to anymore, and I never knew, and I never saw it coming?! Could I have been so blind?

I started wondering.... what would I do? How would I do it?

I decided to go to the Bahamas.

On day four one of my fellow vacationing city birds said,
'Um. You haven't been drawing. Is that weird?"
Apparently this transition wouldn't be seamless...

On day five I accidentally broke my fast with some doodling.
'Gah! No drawing!,' I reminded myself.

I slammed the sketchbook shut.

Then I had to come home. I went to job-job. I drew some stuff, not in my style stuff, stuff that isn't me. I came home and I read. I tossed and I turned. I itched, literally - that Bahama Sun is hot!'. I itched figuratively.... I grabbed a pencil. I started searching for my sketchbook. Casually at first, whatever - it's just a sketchbook.... Then frantically. WHERE COULD IT BE!? I grabbed my face ala Macaulay Culkin. I tried to calm down. Seriously when have I ever had a better idea of where my keys are than my sketchbook? I crawled on my knees and found it peeking out from under the bed.

I opened it to a clean page. Then I saw these guys:

My Bahama-mama doodles.

The boys I idly sketched when i didn't want to sketch no more. I wonder why elephants were the poison of choice during that week long lead-fast.

Is it because they swim and all my days were spent in the sand and surf?

Is it because they are wrinkly and spoke of my future-forced-ten-time daily application of lotion in attempt to preserve my little island-girl tan?

I thought of this story,
You know how if you cage an elephant when it is very young, you only need tie its leg with a heavy chain. It'll try and try to break the chain, but it will be too little. When it grows and is strong and healthy it will have decided it can't break that chain, after months of trying it just gives up. That is when it is weak. It could snap the chain in two by simply walking in a new direction, but it doesn't. That is when it is truly caged.

So, I am taking heart and remembering this story, that my doodles helped me remember. I am walking in a new direction. Hopefully I'll take another page out of the elephant's book and remember my little drawing fast, because it's silly to start to hate the thing you love best. After all, when you love something you should never forget that you do.

Bahama(zing)

In case you were wondering,

It's a there and back again kind of morning.

The view from our hotel room:

A quick walk to the pool:

The view of said pool:

SHUT UP!
(I know, right?)

The view of the beach.

Five days of sand and saltwater beats any NYC pedicure.

The view of the streets:

I was shocked to find the Bahamas prettier than I pictured it, and tickled to find that a majority of the buildings are pink.

View of historical natural, national beauty:

Gorge(ous):


The view from the jungle:

A panoramic view south:


A view of the most relaxed I get (hopefully also the reddest):

After a lot of thinking and planning I decided to leave my laptop stateside. This face is the face of a girl who abandoned the internet for a week for the first time since the 90s.

See? Happy face:

(Ignore creepy kinda-winky eye.)

View from the boat!

What? You've never seen a dolphin before?

So here's the stats:

• I swam with dolphins.
• Ate infinite carbs for breakfast, every morning.
• Spent less than five minutes on the internet.
• Didn't have access to a phone.
• Got burnt to a crisp
• Hid from the sun under a hat, a first for sure.
• Spent every day with some of the people I love best.
• Ran from smoke INDOORS (what?! people have their Cubans hanging out of their mouths everywhere!)
• Ate ice cream when I felt like it.
• Won $8 at the slots
• Sipped pretty drinks, shore side
• Spent as much time in the water as the days of my youth.

Now I'm home, and luckily for me, home is one of the places I love best.
Still, you have to admit, "It's better in the Bahamas" ;)

Double

This one time - I went to a make-out party.

It was what it sounds like. It was just. like. this:

Free love, Bunnies. Free love.

The title of this latest piece of surface design is 'Bunny, Bunny, Kiss, Kiss' <--See? Double. It's a repeat inside a repeat inside a repeat (three doubles). I just bent your mind. Sorry, I've been talking in 'Old Spice' this week and while I'm coming out of it, I'm also going through withdrawal.
Also, it has ALWAYS bothered me that 'double' is spelled with ONE 'b'. What the eff? So we spell 'bubble' which RHYMES with double b's? This was one big, fat opportunity that we have missed as Americans. I'm going to take it that far. We make exceptions for silent e's and wh's that sound different. What the what? So sad. If I was starting this post instead of finishing it, I'd entitle it 'travesty'.

P.S. Here's a close up of the second version of this design <-- DOUBLE DUBBLE AGAIN!

The Most Important Sketch of the Day

I won the FML sweepstakes this week and got to spend 12 hours in the world's prettiest ER yesterday. When they asked me if this was my first time at New York Presbyterian I said "Yes, but definately not my last!"<-- this was pre pain meds. What?!

Any way. I had lunch at 1 and then was in the ER by 3:15. When I got discharged the guy at the front desk was like "CREEPY! You've been here exactly 12 hours!" --"Really, it seems like longer."

I had to have all this LAME testing done, turns out I'm fine-ish. Thank goodness, but in the process of testing, I wasn't allowed a drop of liquid or a morsel of food the entire time I was there. I could feel my cells dying.

When I got home in the wee hours of the morning I chugged water like a fish but it felt weird to eat something before collapsing in exhaustion. So I went to bed all Little Orphan Annie. This morning the boy took me out to the real-ist real breakfast ever. I was so excited about eating that I drew our food.

This was maybe the 2nd best breakfast of my life, not to be confused with the first best breakfast that I take as often as possible with Jen in her hood.

I wish we would have taken pictures at the "Coffee Shop" this morning. They would have made this blog post so much more bloggy. In the meantime here are some sketches to tide you over. I'm climbing back into the covers to sleep off my bed-ridden happiness.

but thought you could do with some food for thought. Ha. Puns. They're the best.

I was half way through this post when I got a FB message saying that the Illustration Friday word of the week is Breakfast! Score! Maybe FML week is officially over! Happy Friday!

This is On My Workdesk Wednesday

So it's wednesday.

Here is some stuff on my desk.

Once I design a pattern I print it. That dolphin paisley up at the top is totally reject for stationary, it'd be fine for a shower curtain, but today we're designing stationary. I'll reduce it and test it again. Everything sitting in the printer tray is good to go and double and triple checked.

It's so fun and exciting and I wish I could just play with paper all day long.

Run by and check out the women who do at Julia's Stamping Ground!
I am loving WOYWW. It's so fun to see what everyone else does to get over this middle of the week funk.

So far my favorite desk this week is Jozarty's warm crafting room - mainly because the colors are to die for and that orginization wall makes me JEALOUS.

I promise that I'll break out my camera next week! Cell phone does her job, but I'm starting to get the hang of this WOYWW and I want to play at the top of my game ;)

Mother of Pearl

Three baby showers coming up this weekend.
Count them. One. Two. Three.

Get Away

So last week a year of prayers were answered. Were these reasonable prayers or were they childish prayers? Let's just say that they fell into the same category of "PLEASE LET THERE BE A SNOW DAY".... in JULY.

Last week job-job decided to give us a five day weekend. YES. A FIVE DAY WEEKEND. Count them: one.... two.... three.... four..... Shut the front door...five!

My inner monologue has been wearing a head to toe trench coat these days. To keep her from going all Matrix on "innocent" NYC bystanders, I fled the city.

Here's a few of my sketches and shutterbugs from my last few days in Stamford. Incedently, if you're a New York City shut-in. You too can have this mind cleansing experience. Metro-North train out of Grand Central. Marriot in Stamford. Hotel Shuttle anywhere you want to go.

My last few days went something like this. Wake-up. Gym. Swim in Pool. Sleep. Wake Up. Shop. Beach. Tan. Sleep. Sketch. Lunch. Sleep. Tan. Read. Swim at beach. Tan. Shower. Fancy Dinner. Laps in Pool. Walk through adorable town. Sleep. Wake up tomorrow and repeat.

Ok that's enough of that. I've got to go get on the F.

Cue inner monoluge. ;) Happy "Monday".

Zoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Last Thursday job-job took us to the zoo!!! What the what? Yeah. THE ZOO.
Childhood aspiration achieved.

Was it the best day ever?

Most definately.

Did it make me want to kidnap baby animals?

Of course!

Did this trip reveal never before seen wonders, such as finally allowing me to see the red-panda, something that I attempted to do every other weekend for two years?

YES!!

The red panda actually exists!

Did I laugh at Monkeys?

Silly monkeys.

Did I remember how cool giraffes are?

Seriously. they look like aliens.

Did I laugh at more monkeys?

Hahahahahaha.

Did I wish I had stripes?

Just a few next on my ankles. Why can't we have markings too?

Did this guy's face make me forgive him for eating bugs?

Awww, what a face.

Did I squint to see this "leopard's" spots?

Woh, they are so camoflauged!

DId I freak out at this pile of otters?

SERIOUSLY!? A pile of otters?! Soooooooooooo cute. Like cuter than Hello Kitty cute.

Was I totally crazy jealous of this seal?

You bet. How come he gets to live here? It is amazing.

Did I want a pignosed turtle?

Did I sing about it Veruca Salt style?

um.

See, perfect day at work ;)